If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
