if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
