Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
