I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
