I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
