I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
