first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
