I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
please come you make the beer taste better
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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