I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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