Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
