im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We are two peas in an std pod
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
