Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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