grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
