Cold hands, warm shart.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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