I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
