you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
