We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
where are my eyebrows?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
