the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
