Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
