how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
