It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
