What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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