Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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