Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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