She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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