I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
