i think my mom watched the whole time
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
