In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I want her autograph on my taint
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
