everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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