just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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