Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
