I have demons in me.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You're like the curious george of whores
Mom said you looked used
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
