The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
