At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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