Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
