New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
