broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
