When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
