Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
