I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
