Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
there is puke in my bra ... again
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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