Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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