I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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