we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
