just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
