So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
