is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
