He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
