They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
