Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
