so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
