I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We have started to decorate penises.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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